ghosts

i thought i left you behind
i thought you were gone for good
i worked like hell to move on from you
i gave up my fucking life and friends and family just to be rid of you
i found you werent worth it
or so i thought
i rebuilt all you tore down
i stood on the shoulders of those you told me werent enough
and they proved you wrong
i left you and your literal fucking deathgrip
i found freedom and found there was more than you were using to consume me
i was happy and whole and free
but i guess i got greedy
the day i even just thought maybe there was more...
you came rushing back into my life
you wasted no time at all
and now youre using my dreams and my love against me
i am realizing that you never actually left me
not even the water and mountains could keep you away
i feel you ruining me and laughing at all i thought once true
you led me to believe it all
and believe it with everything in me
you knew your case would be stronger this way
you knew if i could give up here, with all i have and with all the beauty i now know
you would really have won this time
and there would be no intervention. i would not ask for it.


but i am not playing your stupid fucking game.
you can go to hell where you belong.
and be tortured by all the life and love you will no longer keep me from.